Hi! My name is Ruparel, and today I am going to narrate you the story of my life. So, until a month ago, I was a totally different person, enjoying all the sadistic pleasures I could gain.
Since my very childhood, mom just told me one thing – ‘Love is a trap, my child’, and I believed her without any questions, because as much as I remember, she was never happy with papa. Even before I developed my sense of hearing properly, my ears would ring with the sound of crashing bottles and abusive words. I remember him coming home at night, drunk out of his wits, hitting mom for no reason. He blamed me for all his friction with mom, and I hated it.
I grew hating him, I remember hating him all my life. I would make up fables, where I would be the king, chopping him off into pieces with my shiny sword.
When I was 15, I fell in love for the first time, or at least what I thought was love at that time. He would hold me tight, and in a whisper of smoke, I would forget all my worries at home. I still remember kissing him under the dampness of his small room, escaping my house every night. I could still feel the butterflies circling in my stomach, every time I think about him. Everything was rainbow and unicorns, until I caught him locking lips with my best friend. That’s when I decided to lock them both out of my life. No matter how much I talk about indifference, I would live in a bubble of hatred.
“I could still feel the butterflies circling in my stomach, every time I think about him.”
Until the age of 23, I had achieved everything which comes under the umbrella of success, but pitying myself became my favourite hobby. Well, what could an overly talented person, with no one to share her success with, do at most? I would go to high-end parties, and gossip about the polluted human nature with a glass of champagne. Yes, you are right! I was a misanthropist.
But two years ago, my life took a plunge. While I was working for a new project, I got a call from Nani, declaring that mom passed away in an accident. I was heartbroken. I couldn’t imagine losing the only person I trusted. After that, anger issues took over and I got frequent anxiety attacks. I lost my job, my house, and everything. I got an offer to move in with dad, but I chose to sleep in my car. I hated therapy since dad was paying for it.
“So, this is my story of how I overcame my fears, and learnt to love.”
But one day, as I was just attending the session half-heartedly, Mrs Iyer, my therapist said “You’ve tried everything. Now why don’t you give love a chance?”. I stood up. Furious, I shouted, “Are you asking me to go against mom? Are you?”. I stormed out of the room, my voice crackling and my eyes tearing up.
Days passed by. Dad would come, begging me to come stay with him. He would bawl his eyes out, apologizing in any way he could. I refused to move an inch.
After a month of counselling, I finally decided to do the crime of going against mom’s words. I shifted in with dad, and tried my best to genuinely love him. I called my colleagues and tried to befriend them. I called my first boyfriend and best friend, and asked them out for a coffee.
And within a week, I could see the difference. My boss called me out of the blue, and asked me to join the office again, claiming that someone vouched for me. It turned out one of the colleagues had contacts in the police department, and somehow, I got my house back. But the most important of all, I didn’t feel empty anymore. I breathed love, and every breath of mine gave the pleasure I hadn’t ever tasted.
So, this is my story of how I overcame my fears, and learnt to love.
“Love is magic. It has the potential to change you, inside and out. So, choose to love.”
Thank you for bearing with me as I narrated the tale of my ups and downs. Criticism is more than welcome. Please give us your opinions on our blog. Like and comment. Thank you.