Friendship and Expectations

It’s natural, to feel that friendships you have forged, are the most important bonds, and they cannot be broken. Many a times, we tend to overplay the equations in our life. Based on what we have in our minds, with regards to another individual, we almost build a fairy tale world, and friendship.

Alas, this mostly remains in our heads. The harshest reality remains, that we often build too many expectations, which crumble when our tiny bubble of imagination is popped!

Dealing with an unexpected jolt in your friendship, is difficult. Very difficult. It can bring the strongest souls, to experience their weakest moments. In such situations, one is lost. You don’t know how to react, or who to go to, for support. All you know, is that you feel betrayed, and there’s very little that is succeeding to bring you out of that. Friend breakups are often unacknowledged – whilst you’ll probably get lots of sympathy after a romantic breakup, you might be left alone to deal with the loss of a friendship, and you could feel guilty for mourning.

Put yourself first and make sure you are getting plenty of sleep, eating well and sticking to your usual routine. Wallowing on the sofa and comfort eating junk food won’t help anyone. Try to avoid Facebook and social media, as the last thing you want is to become involved in an online argument. You’ll need to surround yourself with other friends and family if you have lost a close friend, and it’s important to keep up with your social commitments, so that you don’t sit at home feeling increasingly depressed and isolated. Go to the gym, catch up with a friend for coffee or book a holiday! It’s normal to sit around going over things in your head and wondering what went wrong – this is how we grieve the loss of a person in our lives and it’s an important part of the healing process. You’ll eventually get closure, so don’t beat yourself up for over-thinking things

Remember that most friendships don’t last forever and as you grow older and change, friends will fall by the wayside. Was this the kind of person you really wanted as a friend? If not, think about how you could attract different types of friends – it may mean taking up new hobbies or trying something new. If so, ask yourself what you could do differently in the future to be a better friend and make your friendship last!



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