When we hear of people struggling, we want to help them. We want to relieve the tensions they feel. Yet, it’s the tension, the emotion, the angst that produces growth and ultimately greater happiness. For the most part, one has to want to help themselves. Here’s how we can help instead:
- Stay With Tension:Don’t reduce the tension, increase it. Rather than tempering emotions, embrace them. The tension is often an arrow pointing to part of the real solution.
- Avoid Quick Fix Solutions:Don’t jump, or allow the individual to jump, to immediate easy-fix solutions. A change of scenery is usually not the whole answer. There is a lot more analysis and understanding required, to wholly abolish the issue.
- Explore Internal Change:Look for being-level solutions and game-changing ideas rather than a quick and easy answer that temporarily relieves pressures. That way, there will be an effective improvement, even in the long run.
- Do not leave External changes behind: Work on internal being-level changes, as well as external situational changes. It’s usually not just one or the other. Personal growth helps the current situation and any future situations.
When helping people, we need to embrace our own fear and angst. We don’t have all the answers. Tensions do not immediately dissolve after a short conversation. Just like the person we are helping, we need to examine our own internal condition.
The journey through difficulties is not easy. We need help to keep going. As we journey, the difficulties have a way of working themselves out.